Food, Weight and Me (in english)

This is my food,  weight diary and a normal diary. I write down how much i eat, weigh and feel.

Height : 5'4
Food: 1/4 cucumber  ( 5 kcal )
Weight  : 42.8kg ( -200 g ).  .   94.35 lbs
Wednesday  13 ;July

Weight: 43 kg ( +200g )

Food  :  1 salad McDo  (15kcal)

Diary :  yesterday, i ate just 1/4 cucumber and i gain weight. it was too much. I hate myself. I told myself you should fast. but i'm too fat and stupid and ate. Hate myself.

Thursday 14 july

Weight: 42.6kg
 : fasting just water
I want to be thin and lovelely. i want to be 40 kg.